In Part 2 of Finding Purpose, (1) I outline the Success on Purpose program (2) that had such an impact on my life at a crucial juncture, specifically how to identify values. Personal values.

"First of all, a VALUE is a thing - a noun. It is something you believe to be highly desirable - something of great importance, worth or usefulness to you." (3) In other words, "To value something is to esteem it to be of worth" (4) says, Stephen R Covey in his book "First things First."

Values become critically important to an individual, driving our decisions and actions in daily living. (5) Some people call them ideals, others purpose, standards, models, and paragons. Regardless of the name, what you think about when you think of freedom, beauty, honor, love, wisdom, family, adventure, and any of a thousand other topics define you more than anything else.

Your ideals set you apart, and although you might share many of the same standards with others, we each have a unique combination of character, ability, and purpose that directs our actions and determines our experiences in life. (6)

Unfortunately, if the assortment of values that define our character conflicts with principles or natural laws, we will search aimlessly for peace of mind, repeatedly setting ourselves up for failure, never realizing that sometimes we are our worst enemies. (7)

Life is Full of Aisles; Change Your Seat if You Don't Like The View.

One of life's great truths is that we can reinvent ourselves by:

Identifying our current list of values.
Redefining our characteristics.
Shedding old habits.

If your life is on track, you'll know it by how you feel and the results you are getting. (8) On track? Great! Keep going. However, ensure the values you hold dear are delivering the desired results.

Identify the current list of values.

Identifying even a short list of values is all we'll need to recognize those things that bring results into our lives.

The book "Success on Purpose" provides a chapter dedicated to defining and identifying your core values. (9) The book lists words the authors identified as values. Nine pages in all, about 30 per page. The words and definitions help you determine if the value represents items you consider the "best thing in life or the best thing about your life."

Things like:

Accomplishment: success in completion; an achievement
Affluence: Plentiful, abundance; a great quantity of wealth.
Authenticity: quality of being honest, genuine, trustworthy, bonefide.
Belonging: close, secure relationships
Challenge: test of ones mettle and abilities; defeating, prevailing over obstacles.
Comfort: ease, well-being; contentment; solace.
Diligence: Steady attention and effort, as to one's occupation.
Exotic: unusual or different.

The list of articles differs from the typical values we consider when creating a list. Honesty and Integrity are also on the list, as are Intimacy, Humor, and Hope, along with Logic, Moderation, Modesty, and Music.

The goal is to read through the list and select those words and definitions that are "the best things" in your life right now (or the best things about your life) or that you feel could be one of those things if you dedicated more time toward the value.

Redefining Our Characteristics

I've spent the past several weeks digitizing many of my old journal entries; the process will undoubtedly take months, and I find it difficult sometimes to reconcile my younger self's immaturity with my older self's memories. I'm not the same person I was 40 years ago (thank goodness); I grew and evolved, and my aim became higher as I repeatedly redefined the life I wanted.

Shortly after flunking out of college, I didn't like what I saw, so I started over. (10)
Shortly after fast-tracking a management role, I didn't like what I saw, so I started over. (11)
Shortly after living and raising a family in a large city, we didn't like what we saw, so we started over. (12)

And that's just the career side of my life. Just imagine all our other choices to evolve our vision of the life we want. The point is to start over if you don't like the results you are getting. (13)

Life is a journey; we learn as we go, and it's okay to change your mind, especially if the change is an improvement.

Shedding Old Habits

Habit

NOUN

a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. (14)

Times change, and we change; unfortunately, our habits rarely do, and unless those habits deliver the desired experience, you will more than likely have to struggle with changing or at least modifying a routine or two.

Habits comprise three elements.

The Cue. The cue represents the triggering event that signals the brain to go into automatic mode.
The Routine. The behavior itself (either physical, mental, or emotional).
The Reward. The reward lets the brain decide if this particular routine is worth remembering. (15)

While not all habits are flawed, you'll need to identify the useful ones associated with the characteristics you'd like to improve. You'll need to consciously commit to what you want, creating a vision of what that will look like in the "real" world.

That's the mental routine of a habit. Next, schedule a time or find something positive to associate with the improved vision. Deliberately, at first, trigger the pattern as often as possible when the cue presents itself.

Avoid creating artificial rewards for the journey; the prize is having the characteristic become part of our life, and once it does, the habit will become permanent. Psychologists have long realized that we are too quick to pat ourselves on the back when we believe we are making progress, using the advancement as an excuse to take it easy. (16) So, stick to the cue and the routine for now.

Eventually, you'll have a short list of important, heartfelt values you experience daily. That list is your best guide to purpose and satisfaction; you will have all you need to design a well-lived life. (17)

Footnotes and References

1 My essay: Finding Purpose, Part 2

2 ThinkTQ.com: Success on Purpose. https://thinktq.com/products/sop/index.cfm

3 Haas, E R, and Kent C Madson. Success on Purpose: The Starting Point for Purpose-Driven Success. Think TQ, Inc., 2007, https://thinktq.com. p.69.

4 Covey, S. R., & Merrill, A. R. (1993). "First things First." New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. p.26.

5 Ibid. (Covey, 1993)

6 Haanel, C. F. (2012). "The Master Key System: in twenty-four parts with glossary, questionnaire and index." United States: Fathomless Sea Publishing. (Location 3375).

7 Ibid. (Covey, 1993)

8 Haas, E. R., and Madson, Kent C. " Mission Factors - 2i" Nine to Five ScreenGems, Inc. 2000-2002.

9 I receive no compensation for this testimony endorsement of the ebook; I have no experience with the coaching bundle.

10 My essay: A Better Order.

11 O’Brian, Bridget (July 9, 1999) “Prudential Fined $20 Million by NASD Over Sales of Variable Life Insurance” Wall Street Journal. Retrieved from: https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB931456104708549578

12 We moved from Tulsa, OK, to Cedar City, UT

13 Ibid. (Haas, 2000-2002) Mission Day 19, workbook

14 Habit Definition. Bing search. Retrieved from: https://www.bing.com/search?q=habit+definitions&form=ANNTH1&refig=018cade6698d48c4887c9c018bfdc6be&rdr=1&rdrig=E2155CCB20C5479BBBA8090DD30AD3A0

15 Mckeown, Greg (2014-04-15). "Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" (pp. 209-210). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. Location 2408.

16 McGonigal Ph.D., Kelly (2011-12-29). "The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It" (pp. 88-89). Penguin Group US. Kindle Edition. Location 1361.

17 Ibid. (Haas, 2000-2002) Mission Factors - 2a.