The impulsive version of me wants to "eat, drink and be merry," at least the eating part. I'm generally lazy, but that's not the exact word I would use. I'm unwilling to do the hard things; that's not quite right either. This part of me sees reading a book, studying on the computer, watching TV, and making something good to eat as "doing" something, not anything extraordinary.

My wiser part recognizes that I am not living up to my potential. This more intelligent side of me knows how good I feel when I ski, climb a mountain, and feel healthy and strong. The wiser part of me knows when and how to put forth an excellent effort for reward, wealth, and recognition. This more intelligent part of me knows how short time is and doesn't want to waste a minute.

My impulsive part thinks, "I'm too tired, I'll be stronger tomorrow, I'll eat better tomorrow, I don't care about those things that I must work so hard to obtain. The impulsive part of me thinks that I've come far enough, that I've worked hard enough, that it's time to take a break and enjoy some of my previous hard work, although some of the hard work was short and a long, long time ago.

The wiser part of me knows it is possible; there might not be a tomorrow.

Journal entry— January 29, 2014