"We each long for a life of significance, to feel that in some important way our life has made a unique contribution to the world and to the lives of others. We each strive to create our self as a person of unusual quality, someone who is admired by others as extraordinary. We hope for lives characterized by accomplishments and lasting relationships that will distinguish us as memorable individuals both during and after our time on earth." ~ John Chaffee [1]
Do I? I mean, do I really? I've read this quote by John Chaffee numerous times and loved the book he wrote about critical thinking called The Thinkers Way: 8 Steps to a Richer Life. However, I'm not sure I fall into the "unique contribution to the world" category.
Don't get me wrong; I love my life and the family and friends that are a part of my life. But I don't yearn for the world to love me. I don't desire people to seek me out for words of counsel and advice. I think I'd rather be hiking or skiing or traveling the world and seeing things that few people will take the time to see in their lifetimes.
So what is a life of significance? What does it mean to someone like me? Who determines if I have lived such a life? I have written about the life I love and a list of things that create a better life for me.
Is that significant?
Who and what determines if something is significant? One accurate measure of significance should be something you set up to achieve yourself. So the meme of "set goals, keep it to yourself, smash the shit out of them, clap for your own damn self" has a lot of meaning to me.
In my top ten list of values, I value accomplishment (#5) and cherish acknowledgment (#7), but only by the slightest nod of the head, a tip of the hat, or a pat on the back. I don't require front-page news or magazine articles. It all seemed so fake when the few magazine articles were written about me over the years: the interviews, the photograph sessions, the pose. Most of the pieces as written were interpretations of me as seen from the perspective of the person writing. For the most part, they were complementary but shallow. I've thought about this as I've read articles about other people and considered that what I'm reading is probably a poor reflection of the person they are in life.
I remember a talk given years ago, and if I can find the reference, I'll add it to the reference section below. In the talk, we will watch a parade of all those people who made it to heaven. We'll recognize all the prophets and apostles throughout history whose names are engraved upon our hearts and in our scriptures. However, at some point, we'll lean over to the angel standing next to us and ask, "Who's that?" The angel will reply, "That's Bob. He served as young men's leader for 25 years," or "there goes Barbara, who raised four children, served as Relief Society President for ten years."
It seems to me that an authentic life of significance and our unique contribution to the world, in all probability, won't feel like one to us. Of course, we'll strive to create; however, we are always our own worst critics, and in the end, our life of significance will probably be determined by someone perhaps we don't even know, who we touched with a smile, a nod, or a pat on the back. And that "will distinguish us as memorable individuals both during and after our time on earth."
Written August 13, 2022
Contains elements from a 5-minute freewriting session on Jan 11, 2017, at 10:12 AM
[1] Chaffee, John. *The Thinker's Way: 8 Steps to a Richer Life*. Little, Brown, 2000. p.6.