mid-life cri-sis
NOUN
"an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age." [1]
"How can I help you folks?" The Mazda salesperson greets Linda and me with a big smile. "Hello," I say. "I'm interested in looking at the Miata." "Oh, going through a midlife crisis, are you? They're right this way." The happy salesperson steps off the showroom floor and guides us toward one of the two-person hard-top convertibles. Little did he know, he had just lost a sale, or at the very least, the potential for a sale. I walked around the car and said, "thanks," leaving the bewildered salesman next to the beautiful automobile.
"What's wrong?" Linda asks as we leave the lot and get back into the truck. "I just can't stand the midlife crisis comment whenever I want to buy something for myself." I say, and unfortunately, it is true. Today's comment is closer to the age mark than all the other comments I have endured. I am in my early 50s (2008), but as someone who had turned prematurely gray, I have heard people comment about me going through a midlife crisis for 25 years or more.
The first time was shortly after college graduation, and I decided to leave my managerial role at JCPenney to enter the (hopefully) lucrative field of finance. Truthfully, I later found out that I wasn't really in finance I was, in fact, a life insurance salesman. However, with the help of my sales manager, I proved to be very successful, making more money in my first year at sales than I had in almost all my other hamburger-flipping years combined. By the second year, I had reached some top performance status, and life felt pretty rosy. Linda and I decided to buy a boat.
Tulsa, Oklahoma, wasn't far from Lake Keystone, and we got a good deal on the boat. Friends allowed us to keep the 24’ Bayliner on their property near the lake, and we took plenty of time off to enjoy the water. That's when the ribbing began. Midlife crisis! Next, he'll be looking for a younger bride! I was probably 30 at the time.
After we moved to Cedar City to take on a new role, my nephew drove by the house on an old Yamaha 750 street motorcycle. "Hey, Uncle Steve, you interested in buying a motorcycle?" I wasn't in the market for a street bike, having spent most of my growing-up years riding dirt bikes; I probably wasn't interested. I later found out he was trying to sell the bike to fund an engagement ring. I called him back and asked him to bring it by for me to look at it again. I bought the bike from him, and he bought a ring for her.
I rode it about a week before I got my first midlife crisis comment. I was 44. The dictionary defines a midlife crisis as "an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence." In my experience, friends with this type of crisis all shared another common characteristic - blame. It was almost as if they woke up one day and realized they were not the person they had intended to become, and it was somebody else’s fault. Their spouse had held them back, their family had held them back, they had to leave school early and get a job because of obligation to their spouse and family, etc.
Invariably the people I knew who went through this ugly blame game ended up married again, typically to a younger spouse with small children. They set themselves up to relive the portion of their life that led to the midlife crisis in the first place.
I was extremely fortunate in that I had a great spouse, family, and the nature of my business success left me with an abundance of self-confidence. However, now that the children were gone and we had a vehicle that could hold a small crowd should they return, I just wanted a sports car—something I could enjoy driving without all the extra seats and something big under the hood. Linda loved horses; I wanted horsepower.
Finally, through a series of events, I bought a Corvette convertible. White, tan top and speakers that made my heart sing. On my second day of driving it to the office. "Hey, you going through a midlife crisis?" A friend yells as he walks across the parking lot. "Sigh. Nope, just wanted something fun to drive."
Written October 27, 2022
References:
[1] [mid life crisis defined - Search (bing.com)](https://www.bing.com/search?q=mid+life+crisis+defined&form=ANNTH1&refig=386aed40253b4887bbe7b5b376a5180d)